In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to Jesus Christ! Do you remember the desert? Do you remember when we were in the desert? Do you remember how it was when we were in the desert? At our backs: the waters.
The waters where the powers of darkness were crushed. Corpses of Pharaoh’s minions washed up on the shore. And before us: the desert. That vast, arid, wild wasteland. What have we done? How did we come to be here, now? Exposed to the searing heat, to the numbing cold. In this endless nothing. With nothing. How will we survive? Back there, in Egypt, we were surviving. How can we survive in this desert? And in the desert, we drank of bitterness… But for us, in the desert, the bitterness was made sweet. And we were nourished on that daily bread from heaven, and it too was sweet. And we were refreshed on the water that gushed from the rock. Do you remember? In the desert we endured the assaults and the onslaughts of the enemies of God. And by this sign we were saved from destruction. By this sign! When the man of God, the shepherd, stretched out his arms like this, under this sign, under this banner, we withstood and we prevailed and we triumphed in the desert when Amalak came out to destroy us. Do you remember? It wasn’t so long ago. And what did we do in the desert? In that vast nothing, where we had nothing. What did we do? We took up a collection. That’s what we did. We took up a collection. And we gave. Those who had gold gave gold and those who had silver gave silver and those who had bronze gave bronze. And onyx and precious stones and acacia wood and goat skins and tanned ram skins and fine twined linen and yarns in blue and purple and scarlet and oil and spices… We gave freely, not of compulsion. According to our hearts’ desire, so we gave. Every man and every woman. We gave freely and we gave liberally until we had to be restrained from giving. How was it that a horde of escaped slaves, wanderers in a wasteland, gave so much gold and silver and bronze and onyx and precious stones…? And there in the desert, what else would we have done with it all? What else but build the tabernacle of the Lord. And that’s what we did in the desert: we built the tabernacle of the Lord. Remember, now: in the desert, we built the tabernacle of the Lord, but we did not plan the tabernacle of the Lord. We did not design the tabernacle of the Lord. We did not invent the tabernacle of the Lord. No. The Lord revealed to us His plan. The Lord revealed to us His will. From the cloud, the Lord revealed. From the cloud, the Lord revealed. And that time, in the desert, that time, we obeyed. And we worked. Every one of us, every man and every woman. All of us using our God-given skills in metalwork and woodwork and engraving and weaving… We built everything as the Lord revealed: the ark of acacia wood overlaid in gold; the mercy seat, and of one piece with the mercy seat, the twin cherubim of pure beaten gold; and the table for the bread of Presence, and like it, the altar for the incense: acacia wood overlaid in gold; the vessels and the utensils of pure gold; the candle stand of pure beaten gold with its six branches and its almond blossoms, its calyxes and flowers; the bronze basin with its stand; the altar with its four horns and its bronze grate and its utensils all of bronze; the posts and the pillars overlaid in gold with their silver bases; the ten curtains of blue and purple and scarlet embroidered with the cherubim; the tent of goats’ hair, the covering of tanned rams’ skins; the priest’s vestments: the robe fringed with bells and pomegranates; the shoulder pieces with the names of the twelve tribes engraved in onyx; the breastplate with the twelve precious stones; the turban; the crown; the gold plate; the inscription: Holy to the Lord. What a sight. What a sight! A glimpse of a glimmer of the glory of God. In the desert. Do you remember this? Do we re-member this? My brothers and sisters. Here in the desert of this world… Here, in this space in between the waters of baptism and the Kingdom yet to come… Here, in this wasteland where we are but sojourners nourished on that Manna from heaven… Here in the desert of this world, we are not called to survive. We are called to live. And life begins - so it turns out - Life begins the moment we let go of survival. Life begins the moment we lay aside all earthly cares - What will we eat? What will we wear? How will I be perceived? How to elevate my status or stature? How to get on the inside? How to rise in the ranks? How to succeed? How to win? How to last? How to survive? Life begins when we lay all of that aside, “that we may receive the King of All.” Life begins when we “seek first the Kingdom and the Righteousness of God.” For “whoever desires to save his life will lose it.” Whoever would try to preserve his life as in brine or syrup or formaldehyde, maybe, or whoever would try to store up his life as in a granary can only die. And is already dead. But whoever would lose his life, whoever would let go, surrender, whoever would readily offer up his life “for My sake,” says our Lord, will have Life eternal. “I am the Way,” says our Lord. “I am the Life.” This Way that is the Life is the Way of Gethsemane. In the garden that dreadful night, Jesus faced Death in its most hideous and gruesome aspect. His own imminent decease, yes, but also: abandonment, betrayal, the show trial, condemnation, public mockery, utter humiliation, the braying bloodlusting mob, slapping, spitting, flogging, torture… And in the face of that horrid Death, at His hour of agony, in His mortal terror, the Son of Man prayed: “... nevertheless, heavenly Father, not my will but Thine.” Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Faith. Humility. Self-offering and obedience toward God in the face of Death. This is the Way that is the Life. This is the Life that defies Death. This is the Life that triumphed over Death in the garden. And if any would follow this Way that is the Life, if any would call Him Lord, then let him likewise deny himself: Not my will! Not my will! And let him daily take up his cross. Let him not turn and flee from Death - he’ll never outrun it - but let him face it. Let us… … in our hour of agony, in our hour of dread, and at every other hour when we encounter our mortality, when we encounter suffering, sorrow, loss, humiliation… when we reach our limits… Every day in the desert when we confront the inherent poverty, the neediness, the precariousness of our life and the contingency of our being… Let us face Death in faith. In humility. In obedience. In love - in true charity! - let us offer ourselves up. Let us face Death and let us say, as He taught, and as He Himself prayed that night in the garden: “Our Father who art in heaven… Thy will be done. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.” We say that Death is conquered, for so it is. But Death has not been annihilated. Not yet. Death has not disappeared from the world. Have you noticed that? Look around. Death is everywhere. Death is conquered because it is subverted and converted. It is twisted up and turned back on itself. It is ruined and wrecked. Its reign of terror is abolished and Death itself is bent in service to the cause of Life when the beneficence of God meets the faith and obedience of the sons and daughters of Man. So it might have seemed as though Death were the end of life. But we know better. We who have been baptized into Christ, we who have seen the True Light, we know that by this Way that is the Light, Life begins with Death. Life begins with this defiance of Death. Life begins with this triumph over Death.. For us, in the desert, the bitterness is made sweet. By this Way that is the Life, even sin is subverted and twisted back on itself and bent to the service of Life. Remember what the Blameless One said to Pilate: “You would have no power over me unless it had been given to you from above.” Notice what He did not say to Pilate - what we might have wished Him to say but what He did not say. He did not say, for example: “Ha! Pilate! The joke is on you. You think you have power over me, but you have none. I am the Lord of Heaven and Earth and I can squash you like a bug.” The Lord of Heaven and Earth did not say that. Why did He not say that? No. He said, rather, “That power which you do have over me, Pilate, you would not have unless it had been given to you from above.” And he might well have added: “for the salvation of the world.” That power which you have over me, that power which you exercise corruptly to my mortal hurt, that power was given to you from above. Moreover, it was given to you for the salvation of the world and it shall be for the salvation of the world - Just watch! Just watch! It shall be for the salvation of the world not merely in spite of, but even by your misuse and abuse and dereliction of power, by your acquiescence and your accommodation in the perversion of justice, by your self-service and self-preservation and by your filthy washing of hands… That power which you have over me shall be for the salvation of the world. My brothers and sisters, look: Pilate survived. But our Lord lives. And by His life, so we also live. See how God saves. See in what manner God saves, according to the gospel witness: by His mighty outstretched arm, as it were, yes. by the faithfulness and obedience of the Son of Man, yes. But also, marvelously, by the avarice and the treachery of Judas, by the jealousy and the hypocrisy of Caiaphas, and by the cowardice and the cynicism of Pilate. Such are the power and goodness of God: irrepressible, endlessly creative, transformative. Such that He bends Evil itself in the service of His Goodness. What is evil, after all? Nothing but the subversion and diversion and perversion of good things away from good ends, against God. The turning of good beings against Goodness and against Being. Evil has no positive constitution or composition, neither property nor province of its own. It is utterly the imposter. It is nothing but the great No. The anti-Amen. Our God as Saviour, then, is the great perverter of Evil, if you will. He subverts and diverts and converts Evil to bring back and to fulfill all things in Goodness Himself. For us, in the desert, the bitterness is made sweet. My brothers and sisters. In what ways, then, and when and where is it that we encounter Death along our daily march? Do we encounter our mortality… Do we press the limits of our capabilities, our means, the limits of our life… Do we experience degradation, dis-integration, alienation, suffering, loss, humiliation… Do we confront the inherent poverty, the neediness, the precariousness of our condition, the contingency of our being… … in our places of work? In the marketplace? Before civil authorities? At our kitchen tables? Do I struggle, “by the sweat of my face,” as it were, to earn a living? To meet the needs of my dependents? To gain or retain employment? To become or to remain marketable? Does the earth bring forth thorn and thistle for me? Do I strain to satisfy the demands of my employer or my clients, or the expectations of investors or the needs of employees? Do I find myself doing menial or unfulfilling work? Work devoid of a sense of purpose, divorced from deeper and higher aspirations? Do I feel myself demeaned or devalued in the course of work or for want of work? Commodified? Do I measure my worth by my work? Do I try, by great accomplishments, by prestige, to cover my nakedness? Or by accolades, by a legacy do I hope to outpace or overcome Death? Do I find myself participating in organizations or institutions or conventions or conduct which reflect distorted or disordered values? In social relations which are rivalrous, adversarial, antagonistic, exploitative, or at best transactional? Does my consumption of goods implicate me in violence against my brother or sister or against my other fellow creatures? Am I compelled to pay taxes even as I see tax revenues squandered or diverted or earmarked for evil? Do I encounter Pilate embodied in the boss? The hiring manager? The client? The taxman? The regulator? The creditor? The caseworker? Does Death infect my experience of money? Do I experience estrangement because I have money and they want it, or because they have money and I need it, or simply because I have money and they know it and I know that they know it…? Does money seduce my heart with its siren song of solving my problems, satisfying my needs and desires? Of self-empowerment, self-actualization, self-aggrandizement? Evasion of Death? Thy will be done! Thy will be done! Thy will be done! On earth as it is in heaven, Thy will be done! In this Gethsemane, on this Golgotha and in this Galilee, Thy will be done! In this office, in this boardroom, in this clinic, in this laboratory, in this classroom, in this warehouse, at this plant, on this job site, at this kitchen table, at 237 Sackville Street… Thy will be done! Thy will be done! Let this death also, and this evil also, be bent in service to the cause of Life! Thy will be done! Let every tomb and every pit become a seedbed of Life! Thy will be done! Let us despoil Egypt of her gold and silver and bronze, onyx and precious stones, and let us consecrate all of it to Thee, O Lord! Thy Kingdom come! Thy will be done! Let us give freely and let us give liberally, from the desire of our hearts ever burning but never consumed. Thy will be done! Let us build the tabernacle of the Lord in this desert, in this wasteland. In this Valley of the Shadow of Death, to these heaps of dry bones let us proclaim Life! Thy will be done! Let us say to every petty Pilate and to every Caesar behind him, to every Pharoah and to every Nebuchadnezzar - and moreover, to every authority figure who is more or less benign but less than perfect - Let us say, “You would have no power over me unless it had been given to you from above. For my salvation and for the salvation of the world.” Thy will be done! Let us turn the other cheek and so make of every tormentor and persecutor a friend and a helper; let us make of every oppressor an ally, an unwitting fellow servant for the cause of Life! Thy will be done! What could conceivably be better?! For you, for me, for all? What could conceivably be better than the will of the One who absolutely is, who is absolute Goodness? The Alpha and the Omega? The Origin and the Destiny of all? The God who is Love? With joy and gladness, with continual gratitude, let us receive our life and our being as given, as gifted, from the One who is the Life, from the One who is Being. With unflinching joy and gladness, with gratitude sprung from humility, let us accept also the limits of our life, the limits of our being, as given by the God who sets the limits of all things, who says to the sea, “Thou shalt extend this far and no further.” Let us do this in remembrance of Him: Let us receive all things, and in thanksgiving let us offer up all that we have and our very selves, “on behalf of all and for all.” Let us offer up all earthly things that they and we may be redeemed and fulfilled and perfected and transformed into heavenly things. “Thy Kingdom come.” Let us consecrate this world, while it lasts, as the tabernacle of the Lord. Let us daily, hourly, make of our whole life a continual eucharist. My brother, my sister. If you so desire, you could give money to the church on account of the rent. It’s $4,000 per month, by the way. The rent. And we gotta pay the rent, that’s true enough. And if it’s the rent that moves you, if it’s the lease agreement that gets your juices flowing, then give on account of the rent. And may God bless you. I wouldn’t discourage you. But I rather suggest, my brother, my sister… Let us give on account of Life! Let us give in defiance of Death! Let us give and so follow that Way! Let us give sacrificially: our first fruits and our unblemished lambs. Let us give of our wealth; let us give from our poverty. Let us give with joy and gladness. Let us give freely, and let us give liberally. Let us give, for “steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Faithfulness springs up from the ground as righteousness looks down from heaven!” Let us give for Life! For your life! For my life! For the life of the whole world! In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, glory to Jesus Christ. Glory to God for all things. --A Brother
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When Jesus called upon his Apostles to a new Journey, a new vocation, (Matthew 4:18, Mark 1:16, Luke 5:2, John 1:40), Christ had just started his ministry. He had already endured temptations in the desert, performed miracles and been cast out of his home town. Christ comes into these fisherman’s lives and through a very ordinary act of hospitality -- letting a Rabbi use their boats -- turns their entire lives upside down. Instead of netting fish, they are called to net the hearts of men. Soon they will be rushing like windblown embers through dry brush, and setting entire nations on fire. In the powerful Epistle to the Corinthians, St. Paul writes: We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you not to receive the grace of God in vain. We hear how the righteous receive God’s grace in suffering and dishonor through patience and fasting. St. Paul continues to the Corinthians: As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things. So much for leaving a fishing boat, this sounds like leaping into the fire! Paul literally saw God directly on the road to Damascus and was given the gift of miracles. How am I, a sinner and an ordinary person, supposed to bear suffering with joy in the same way, let alone be as serious about salvation? Our Patron, Saint Silouan Today we celebrate the 1938 passing into eternity of Saint Silouan. Born Simeon Ivanovich Antonov in 1866 in a small village in Tambov, Russia, he died on September 24, 1938 on Mount Athos in Greece. Unlike some overly hagiographical literature, St Silouan recalls that he was a normal young man, with all of a young man’s weaknesses, hopes and joys. Yet something stirred in the twenty-seven year old Simeon Ivanovich. He abruptly left his native Russia and went to Mount Athos. He became a monk at the Monastery of St. Panteleimon and was given the name Silouan, the Russian version of the Biblical name “Silvanus.” Silouan was a rather ordinary monk. He ran a mill for the monastery as his obedience. He was barely literate and wrote no theological treatises. He didn’t become especially well-known among pilgrims. At the time there was a revival going on in Mount Athos. Joseph the Hesychast, Arsenious and John the Hutt Dwellers, revived the Hesychastic tradition. Their spiritual children, Ephraim of Arizona, St Paisius and Porphyrios, grace many of our home book shelves. The Way of the Pilgrim brought their vision back to northern Europe and into the Slavic monastic tradition. Hesychasm is a monastic way of life grounded in the desert fathers. The idea is a that through unceasing prayer (the Jesus Prayer is often one of the tools) and ascetic struggle, with the guidance of an elder, you can experience God directly in this life. By contrast, most theologians, especially in the West, hold that God’s properties and power can only be analyzed and perhaps contemplated. The centrality of the Jesus Prayer is a legacy of Hesychasm’s revival on Mount Athos.. Silouan struggled to find out who God is, but among Mount Athos’ spiritual heavyweights, he was at most a dim star. Silouan’s holiness was recognized by few. St. Nikolaj Velimirović was a frequent visitor along with many of the Russian emigres in Paris. But the only reason we know St. Silouan – and venerate him as our patron saint --is his cell attendant and spiritual child, St Sophrony of Essex. St. Sophrony edited Silouan’s journals into a book that was eventually brought to the West, translated and published in English and French. Why Our Parish is Named After St. Silouan Three main themes run through St. Silouan’s Life and writings. The first is the need to acquire the Grace of the Holy Spirit by self-consciously shaping ourselves in God's image and likeness. By living righteous and holy lives, we gradually grow closer to God’s imagine – the image in which we were originally created. The idea that God is directly accessible to anyone, and can be experienced directly, is the foundation of the Hesychastic struggle and ethos. The Hesychastic themes in St. Silouan’s journals are also reflected in the Orthodox academic resurgence in Europe and the West -- and even the evangelical revival in the United States. A relationship with God is possible; all we need to do is turn to him, and pray. St Silouan received the gift of unceasing prayer at an early age. He excelled at the Jesus Prayer until it became an unending awareness of the presence of God. Early in his monastic struggle, God gave him the grace of a vision of Christ when venerating icons of Christ while entering the church. Many believe this was a direct vision of the Uncreated Light . It's an encounter that left Silouan yearning for it for the rest of his life; he even felt that at the time he wasn't ready for it. St Silouan exhorts people to seek after God. To him it’s worth more than anything. He writes: I am a great sinner The second main theme in St. Silouan’s journals is his attitude toward repentance. You repent by searching after God where he is. And where else would God be but on the Cross and even deep in Hell’s darkest reaches -- God is in his darkest moments. “Keep your Mind in Hell but despair not,” goes the famous if confusing refrain. A self-emptying and empathetic God has chosen to dwell with those in despair, and it is here that God's grace is palpable. All too often we only want to move upwards, to only have good things happen to us. But as in Dante's Divine Comedy reminds us, the way to heaven is through the labyrinths of Hell.
Christianity is all about victory through defeat. It's also a tool for humility. Often pain keeps us grounded, keeps us humble, and frees us from our destructive self-will. Even if God blesses me, and only good things happen to me, if I love my neighbor I will also experience their hell. In a way, God calls us to hell, both our own and the forms of hell around us suffer. If you're willing, God will send you into the fire to be his firefighter. For The Love of the World The third major theme in St. Silouan’s writings is that if you truly have an inner life of peace and prayer, it will manifest itself by an outer love for the World. We must love the world through acts of charity -- and pray for its salvation . So often this becomes an abstract concept or one of “bless those I care about,” and we end up being merely self-congratulatory. All too often I hear people talk about Orthodoxy as a self-congratulatory, triumphal religion. “Thank God we are Orthodox”. St Silouan is very simple. For him, loving of the world means loving everyone, including those we have a right to hate. A monk once commented, “but those heretics will go to hell,” and St Silouan exclaimed with teary eyes, “but how could love bear that?”. St Silouan insisted that we pray for our enemies. And he repeatedly says that it’s impossible to love your enemies without grace: "Lord, You have given the commandment to love enemies, but this is difficult for us sinners if Your grace is not with us"; "Without God's grace we cannot love enemies"; "He who does not love his enemies, does not have God's grace"; "He who has not learned to love from the Holy Spirit, will certainly not pray for his enemies.” For St Silouan, in Christ there are no enemies -- only those who accept "the words of eternal life," and those who reject them and effectively crucify them. Am I the one of those who crucifies? If you’re a Ukrainian burying your family right now, this is a difficult question – and presents a difficult demand. In all of our lives, and even in this very church, we have had those who have wounded us, let us down, and broken our trust. As scandalous as this sounds, may God bless them. May God multiply them. May God transform them with his love. Until we can say these words, we do not have grace, and do not have the freedom to turn to Christ. There remains some corner in our souls that keeps us from overcoming our limitations, leaving our entangling nets, and following Christ. I may have the right to be angry, but it’s my choice to be angry or to follow after Christ. So here we are at St..Silouan the Athonite Orthodox Church, in Toronto, in 2023, right here and now. We are surrounded by a great a cloud of witnesses, both living and those triumphant. And once again, we need to be reminded: now is the time, now is the time to finally live. To cast off our stupid self-willed ideas about life and live life in its fullness. To love the world. To truly pray, both for ourselves in repentance and for everyone around us. And if we put that love into action, maybe then people will see the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Tomorrow we will feed 50 or 60 people at our community meal. We will continue offering a liturgy, teaching those around us the true faith. But remember: all of that is nothing without an inner turning, without love grounded in prayerful repentance. May God grant you the grace to leave the fishing boat and leap into the fire – and maybe ignite a few fields along the way. --Deacon Michael Luciuk |
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